Wow. George Carlin died.

By far one of my favorite comedians of all time. I don't care how filthy and untactful he might have been..He was real. May he be resting in the clouds of heaven, while most question if he's burning in the pits of hell for the thoughts he lived his life by. =\

Ahhh holy fuckballs!
I haven't updated in a month of Sundays! My poor avid readers. I apologize, I'm lost in everyone's life. Hell I'm lost in my own half of the time!!!
Anyways... So the scoops are as follows:


- I don't know if I ever wrote the outcome of Chris and I. We broke up (again). Not to say I don't think about him often, but I just wasn't ready to go thru another like-relationship with him that I had with... he who will not be named. :) Although at least he who will not be named was considerably much more honest overall.

- I am moving out of this crash pad on Wednesday into Taso's house for a few months where I"ll work and save up cash and pay back debts until August and then I'll be moving to Texas with an old friend of mine. Going to try to get into school finally, and stay with her parents and save money there for as long as possible. Doors are seemingly opening up and I finally feel like I"m starting to get a dirt path to walk down.

I'm not quite sure where we're going to look at for school, but it's still a few months away.

It's going to be interesting moving all of my stuff down there, still haven't quite mapped that part out yet, but i do still have a few months :)

I'm still playing World of Warcraft like a feign but I think I'm slowly getting less obsessed with it as I previously was. (Me making a post is proof of that).

I guess overall, life is getting better. I'm excited to move in w/ Taso again. I've kinda missed him! He's such a good roommate to have. And a really kind man for all the things he's done for me.

Well I'll keep it short cause I guess not too much has actually happened in my short time of not posting. I'ma either play some more wow, or go finish packing the last lil bit of stuffs up. Anywho. I hope ya'll are doing well. Take care!
Ashly

meet gidgii

In two months, it'll have been a year... I can't believe how fast time flies.
I still think about it almost every day.
I hope heaven is treating you well.

BLACKSBURG, Va. (AP) -- Seth Greenberg gathered his team for the start of overtime, preparing to make them laugh to ease the tension with the game still to be won.

Freshman Hank Thorns beat him to it.

"I think Hank was the one, he was like, `I love overtime," the Hokies coach said Saturday after the Hokies dominated the extra period and kept rival Virginia in a downward spiral with a 72-65 victory. "We're good in overtime.' Whatever he said, and I just turned to him and said, `I don't disagree with you there. I'm all for that."

The Hokies then went out and proved Thorns right.



Still kicked their butts, but good game Hoos!

We all have our opinion's about actors and whatnot, but I just want to take this time to say rest in peace to Heath Ledger. Regardless of how, and why... you were always a good actor who in comparison to others, stayed out of tabloids and tried to live a good life. I'm sorry to see it cut short you were too young to die.

I really didn't mean to post that journal entry last night in public...*fuck*

Sometimes in life, its really hard to tell who to believe and who to put your trust and faith into. It makes living life a lot harder than it should be.

The day I met Chris was amazing, I couldn't believe how great it was. But then, shortly thereafter, it went crumbling down. Seven months later, here i am.. (leaving) California again, but this time with unsure expectations. As good as a lot of my trip went, there is still so much I'm not sure about. Chris lied to me about something that, well is not really major but in some ways is. Perhaps if he had lied like saying black is grey, but intead he lied saying black was white. It's understandable as to why he lied, and I can respect his reasons, as he has to respect mine for being guarded and untrusting. If you lie to me about one thing, you surely must be lying to me about other stuff, in my eyes.

Then, Tuesday night, i decided to go thru his phone and found things that are even more questionable. As much as i want to believe that he's a good man, and I can trust him and give myself up to him in a way that I thought I wouldnt ever do again... There are just things he does that I am not sure I can live with.

He needs to get his life in check, he's too old to have so much instability. I'm 20, and I'm still trying to figure my life out, he shouldn't be. And furthermore, he needs to really figure out if i'm what he really needs in his life at this point. as much as i generally dont believe age an issue, at his age, what in the world could i possibly offer him, besides an ego boost?

He said he wants me to move there, and I guess if he doesn't end up acting retarded in a few weeks, I guess that is a viable option. I'd hate to give up something great because I'm cynical and analytical b/c of a previous experience. often times relationships dont work out when one or both people have went thru a harsh past relationship. it's just too hard to see them as a new person, and can't help but be paranoid and insecure as to what the new person is doing.

all in all, i love California, dearly. grant it, there are some strange things about the place, but overall, i truly love it. i could see myself moving here and living here forever, with or without Chris. I learned my way around Yorba linda quite a bit this past week so that was nice. and I dont think there is any comparable traffic to LA, that SUCKED. But hey, for such greatness, there has to be a Con. :)

My trip was a good learning experience... I learned alot about who Chris is, and how he interacts and whatnot, but there is definitely a lot more to learn. In my heart of hearts, I dont think we're ready to live together, but we're never going ot get to know each other living coasts apart... at the same time, if he doesn't learn to grow up, it'll never work.

And not to make him sound horrible, because that is the least thing he is. He's a sweetheart and a gentleman to me... and I do miss him a lot right now. We've been up each other's ass the last week and half almost... i mean, we did our own things at time... but i felt like i was married almost, and it was kinda nice. LOL. Idk. I'm so confused about him sometimes... I Just don't know. But I miss him right now :(

That's all for now. Ta ta.

A short, quick update.

I'm in Orange County at the moment and loving it! The weather out here in Cali is so much better than in GA right now. I've been here since last Tuesday. Currently, either going home on Wednesday or at an undisclosed date. =D Wednesday if Chris' roommates mind me staying, and undisclosed if they don't. I do need to go home and get more clothes though =) My cat is going to be taken care of by Charlie for an undetermined time. I'm gonna miss my buggerboo dearly. But I know Charlie will take good care of him. But, in the meantime... if I do have to go back, it'll be until June. Then we're going to get an apartment when his lease is up. So a lot of it hinges on his roommates. So, in the next few days, I should find out what is going to happen with that, and I'll start to look for a job here. If they do have an issue with it, then I'ma get a job back home,obviously, and then save up so I can get my shit sent out here, instead of having to fly it all here back and forth. My roommate is gonna let me keep my furniture there for half of what I'm paying as a rental fee.

I'm so happy and so excited to be here finally. Truthfully, at first... it was rocky. And it was hard to not feel some hesitation about him and what to go forth with after the way things kind of 'ended' in the beginning, but then again, after the way he changed from what had happened, when we started talking again, I guess I shouldn't have had any doubts. He did a 180, and the reason the first two days were rocky was because of my hesitations. Finally we talked about all of our issues, and such. And since, it's been close to perfect. I met his son the other night... it was a big awkward, truthfully, but... I think it'll be okay. We watched him practice basketball and took him home to his mother's house.

We havent really done much but veg on the couch, watching movies (rented like 12 movies all together!) and played our video games like nerds. We did go to the beach one night, I'll include some pictures in a bit. Tomorrow, I believe we're going to Knott's Berry Farm and do a lil rollar coaster riding.

And then Wednesday I'll either go home, or start looking for a job here :D


I'm just so incredibly happy... I love looking over at him while he's playing his game and him sensing I am, and we just look at each other and smile. We cleaned house together, and he cooks for me and he's just so sweet and so considerate. Whenever we're getting something, he always gets something for me first. He lets me drive us sometimes cause I missed driving, although he hates fresh window air... we've gotten into a tiff about that, but we found a compromise. There's surely a lot of stuff we still don't know each other and will have to get thru, but... it all starts with him telling me he wants me to be here, wants me to move here with him. Its not a move here, but live away from me. Its I want You in my life, with me.




hahaha there is some movie on with Arnold Swartznagger, and I look over at Chris and go "Look baby, its your governor" ROFLMAO!!!! Omg, that was fucking classic, I love it. hehe.


Anyways, we're about to eat dinner, so here are some pictures

hi Atlanta.

I have a few questions that I was wondering if you guys might be able to answer regarding some GA labor laws.Everywhere I have worke dhere, if you work at least 5-6 hours you get a 30 min lunch. anything over 9 hours, = a 1 hour lunch (if you're scheduled 11-8 you get a one hour lunch). Is this the law here? if anything over 8, you get an hour lunch?

My second question is. If your schedule says six, and you leave at six, can you be fired for leaving early? (I.E. I work in a store, that says I'm scheduled til six, but supposedly if you're scheduled til six you're considered closing.) The problem for me is i left work today a little after six and decided I wasn't going to close tonight, there were 4 associates and one went home promptly at six himself. After getitng some flak for missing work due to my tooth problems (see recent posting), I told them I was out. I am not about to listen to someone whine and moan that they had to work cause I got sick and was in a shitton of pain. So I am wondering, if, technically if I'm scheduled TIL six and it is after six, can I technically leave and not get dismissed for leaving early. It is not written anywhere that if you're scheduled til six that you must stay after and close. Any even so, when x, y and z leave early who is to say who is closing anyways?

Its not really a matter of what anyone else does to me as much as if i'm scheduled til X and I leave at X, can I be fired for leaving "early" when in reality I'm leaving at my scheduled time?

I sure hope this made sense. :)
Ashly

I dont even know why I bothered to pay for another subscription to LJ this year. I think I've used it like... 10 times at the most.
In any case, I figured I'd go ahead and do my "A year in Review" if nothing else.

January
Got married, got my license finally, got my first car.
Had my first accident (in my car- only with me and a pole, LMAO).
Made an extremely good friend at the moment, Jennifer.

February
Got a 100MPH speeding ticket, almost lost license.
Spent a few grand keeping my license.

March
Christine came down and saw me and we celebrated St Paddy's day together.
Pop and I  for an unknown reason on my part, stopped talking completely.
Worked at Waffle House. (Ha!)
Almost killed Jennifer for trying to sleep with Mark.

April
Went to the hospital for the first time in my life for a real illness and total scare.
Henh died at Virginia Tech the morning I was at the hospital being released.
Went to Roanoke for his wake and funeral.
Started my first day at Ameripark after I returned from the funeral

May
I got a new laptop that has been pretty good to me.

June
I flew to California for the first time and fell in love. Not only with the city, but a guy as well. The first one since Mark, actually. 
I met Steven, the photographer for the first time after knowing each other for +6 years.  While I was there, I met Chris.

July
Shot my first wedding as a back-up.
Went to a shit load of baseball games, got to go into the Atlanta Braves dugout while they played the Houston Astros, talked to Mike Gonzales, and Yates

August -
Resigend from Ameripark, started Diggers.
Again, i went to a million baseball games.  I saw Barry Bonds in person.
Got screwed over by a new roommate, and almost lost my apartment.
Started working out with the Army for what, I don't know. Havent decided yet.


September-
I drove up to Virginia and saw VT play ECU and saw Henh's Memorial.
Got into a big fight with my mom which has lead us to not talk anymore.
Tried to find another roommate and he bailed on me at the last minute. Almost lost my apartment again

October-
I got my first photography job for the future. Started working at PicturePeople portrait studio.

November
Quite PPeople, started Sears Portrait studio and Wolf camera for better hours.  Shot my first paid wedding.
Chris and I started talking again after not talking for awhile and taking a break.
December
Got another paid photography gig - shot for a company wedding downtown.




For 2008?

January, I'm going to see Chris - hopefully the 2nd week.
I want to vote.
I want to figure out school or Army.
I want to get my past due items in check.
I want to take better care of myself and try to find a way to be more motivated about things in my life. good bad and ugly.
I want ot be more responsible when granted a task and try to get thur work, however menial and draining it is.
I want to try to stop caring when I am in a job and find a way to adjust and accept whatever is expected of me, including having a good attitude even if its not who I am or what I feel.
I want to find out what is going on with Chris and I and determine if he is truly as serious as he seems. Things have changed a lot with us, and I feel like we almost switched roles. But he calls and does the things he says he will do for the very very most part and I try not to analyze when he doesn't do something he says he will because we all forget to do things and I'm trying to not hold our past from figuring out what our future could be.
I hope to take some photography classes and learn my skill better, as well as Photoshop.
And, there are probably many other things I will strive to accomplish this upcoming year, but I can't think of them at this given time.


I dont expect I will be updating this much anymore. I think livejournal served its purpose for me for a very long time, and I hope that someday I will pick it back up again, but right now, it just isnt something I seem to need or want to do anymore. Perhaps because I'm trying to move past dwelling on things, or thinking about them more than I have to. Which is scary for me, because I used to not run from my problems, and now I hide from just about all of them. But I'm so overwhelmed these days that when I can hide, I will.

That is all for me.

Whoa. I just designed my next tattoo.  While I won't put Henh's name on the tattoo, it will be in memory of him and of the other students, and the spirit of VT when the shootings happened. And in case anyone had already forgotten, six months ago Oct 16th, was the shootings.


A lot of people might think it's stupid, but you know what, I don't care.
I have always went for Virginia Tech. I was nine years old, and I went to my very first football game. It was at Tech. Up until I decided to go into the military, and even when I had doubts and was going to stay, I was gonna go to Tech for a French/Teaching double major (Teaching (Masters), French (B.A.). For as long as I could remember, all my friends went there, it was where we were all going to go for a great ROTC program. And you know what, I'll never pretend Hehn and I were close. Even when I say "One of my friends died there..." I will correct myself and say a classmate, because we were not close at all. I knew him, I knew about him. I knew he was a kid from China, and traveled to the US for a better life, but we were not best buddies. But the sadness I felt when I found out, is indescribable. Standing on the front row watching his mother scream in Chinese and throwing herself on his casket while his brother fainted, it tore my heart into pieces.  To see the love that everyone felt for him by traveling from as far as Utah, and Oklahoma.  I came out of respect because I was a classmate of his. Because of his death, it made me realize how much I missed out on by making good friends with those around me in high school, although in the end, I realize, your high school friends will come and go, and the chances of you staying close for life, are really rare, unfortunately, and it probably saved me a lot of sadness in the end that I was distant and aloof from everyone else but yet, its still an unimaginable feeling to bury your classmate when neither of you have even reached the legal age to drink yet.

In any case, I had briefly thought about getting a tattoo of just "VT" on me, until I saw a picture sorta like the one above. I took the wings and halo from one picture, and made the VT in black from another, and added the text into the Halo myself. 

I never thought I'd get a tattoo on my wrists or forearm, but I think that's where this one will go. Partly because my wrist will never really get smaller or larger, so it wont stretch or shrink, but also, I can't think of an any better placement, however, I am up for any suggestions. I want something mildly visible, with a tasteful appearance.

P.S.
Is it just me, or does it seem like TODAYS Hollywood stars are the ones going nutso? I mean, did Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Robert DuVall (sp), etc ....did they have this shit happen in their 'prime' Hollywood era? I mean, yeah, everyone's always been doing drugs and drinking and driving, but was it this public, this over publicized? Was it really as bad as it is today? I mean, I do come from "Today's" time, and not Yesterdays, so I don't know.. but I can't imagine Lindsay or Britney or Paris making it to be the same age as Julia, Robert, or Richard.

So, since Thursday, I've been off pretty much all weekend, yesterday and all of today until 4:00. I worked 2 hours on Friday, and I'll be work 3 hours tonight.

So, what have I done since then, you ask? Not a damn thing besides play wow. Granted, I busted my ASS moving into the new place so honestly, its been nice to rest and relax in that time. However, due to such high volume of slackage, I am now going to apply at Wolf Camera tonight at 8:00 when I get off for a part-time job, or Full-time, depending on pay/hours. If I can get 40 hours and at LEAST 9.00 an hour, then I'll go full-time and tell Picture People I just don't get enough hours and they can lose me permanently or just drop me down to 15-20/hrs.

In other randomness, after reading someone's journal today and them mentioning they got a call from an Ex and left a message that makes him think she's getting married...it made me realize something: For all that I know and realize, I know ourrelationship will never extend past what it is, and looking back on the last two years, I'm not really that upset about it. There are just so many things I know and see now that, I didn't before. Yeah, I love his companionship more than anything in this world. He's fun to be around, and always great for a laugh or two. But getting the emotional side of him is a struggle, and why would I want that? I don't. And even more so, when a person tells you "what more do you want from me that you already know will never happen?" You kinda really gotta just be like "hello, get a new boyfriend" lol. But my point to all of this, the day he tells me that he's engaged, or getting married, I think A.) My jaw will hit the floor, B.) I'll be unable to speak, C.) I'm surely going to cry at some point, and D.) I will probably be hurt, and E.) I highly doubt I'll congratulate either of them. Not because of envy, or anger or unhappiness for them, but more out of doubt. I know he can be a great and wonderful person, because he was at one time. But because of the pain from his relationships, I really doubt he'll ever be that person again. But then again, because of his adamant wave off of marriage, I don't really think he'd ever propose to a woman unless he was really into her. But then again, its not about her, its about him and his ability to step up and let go of the past and give his all to that woman.
In any case, hopefully that's a long time away... maybe once I'm married or something....oh wait, I already am. HA! Whatever.

Moving on.
I'm going to try to stay up all day today w/ no nap. Get ready for work around 3:00, and get there by 4:00. Again, work til 7:00, get off and go to Wolfy Camera. Then come home and watch NCIS before I crash into my bed. Now, the nap part is the only thing I'm not sure won't happen :)

Ah yes. And clean up a few more things around the house. I still have a few sets of boxes just kinda chilling that need a place in my room somewhere. =\ Just dont ask me where. LOL.
But for now, until everyone is out of the house, I'm going to play a little more WoW. Level 13 now. Woot Woot.